Loathsome Life Lessons: 13 Unethical Hacks Not To Try. Ever. [Weird & Wonderful Web]

There are now a host of websites offering life hacks. These are simple ways of making your life easier; from a faster way of folding your shirt to methods for kickstarting your writing career. Some call these life hacks, other call these productivity tips. We here at MakeUseOf call them Self Improvement. But they all essentially suggest a better way of doing something.

Not all life hacks are created equal. Alongside the fantastic and fascinating life hacks are some that are so unethical (and borderline illegal) that no one in their right mind should even try to pull them off. With the generous help of Unethical Hacks we have compiled a list of 13 life hacks that only sociopathic misanthropes would ever take seriously.

Remember, kids, don’t try these at home, and if you do, we cannot be held responsible for your actions.

Unethical Hacks

Unethical Hacks is a fascinating little website created and run by the mysterious Michael Jaworski. It pulls together the best unethical hacks seen around the Internet. Some border on illegality, but most just use existing loopholes to make life that little bit easier. Because life is sometimes harder than it should be.

The site is also seeking to poke fun at Rob Ford, the current Mayor of Toronto and political trainwreck man of the people. The plan is to hire a tuba player to walk behind Ford for a whole day in homage to a hilarious Family Guy sketch.

But we digress. What follows are just 13 of the unethical hacks featured on the site. Enjoy them by all means, just don’t enjoy them so much you consider trying any of them for yourself.

Manipulative Email

Even if this is technically possible to do without getting caught it’s not nice. At all. It’s funny though, and extremely devious.

Delayed Purchase

We’ve probably all experienced something similar to this, usually by mistake. Promo codesare far from guaranteed, but sudden and inexplicable price drops are common.

Returned Camera

Assuming you take one or two vacations every year you could probably use this method to avoid ever buying a camera. What’s more you’d always have access to the latest model.

Disconnected Coinstar

It can’t really be that easy, can it? I imagine there is some kind of tamper alarm fitted to these machines. If there isn’t then that’s a major oversight on their part.

Thrifty Craigslist

This one is actually genius, and no one really gets hurt, physically, emotionally, or financially. If you make a habit of it, do give a little extra to the thrift store once in a while though. Because karma.

CV Shortcut

Getting your CV (or résumé) in front of the right person is often the biggest battle you face when looking for a job. This cuts out the middleman (or woman), meaning your CV will get read at the very least.

Google Formatting

This certainly works on YouTube, at least until Google’s far-too-clever-for-its-own-good Content ID system detects the copyright infringement. As for torrents, you’re on your own.

Sleepy Photographs

1. What happens if she then rings you to say good night? 2. You’re still lying to your significant other, which is really unpleasant. 3. She will find out eventually, because women always do.

Christmas Sales

This seems like a lot of work for very little gain. Unless you’ve bought someone a very expensive gift that’s then reduced by hundreds of dollars. In which case you’re surely well off enough not to pull this stunt in the first place.

Wikipedia Sources

This is a very well known life hack. And it has become common knowledge because it actually works. That is as long as the sources being cited on Wikipedia can be trusted as accurate. Which is far from guaranteed.

Loss Aversion

This is playing into the basic human need to get a good deal whenever possible. It’s manipulation, sure, but all you’re really doing is persuading them to click ‘Buy’.

Distressed Hipsters

Don’t feel guilty for even a second. Hipsters are ridiculous, so it’s rather fitting that they’ll happily fork out ridiculous sums of money for “vintage” furniture.

Social Dating

This is fine up to a point, that point being when it crosses over from curiosity to stalking. People don’t tend to portray the full, unedited version of themselves on dating websites, so this could be a way of filtering out the waifs and strays.

Don’t Try These At Home. Because Evil.

Naturally we don’t condone any unethical hacks such as those outlined above. However, if you just happen to have anything similar lurking in that cold, dark brain matter of yours then please do share them with the class in the comments below.

We promise to pass the best suggestions onto the good folks at Unethical Hacks. We also promise not to pass your name to the authorities. At least until they force us to do so.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *